Missing in Action

For the last several weeks I have clearly been an absentee blogger. I realized the other day the reason that I hadn`t sat down and written a post was because I didn`t want/wasn`t ready to talk about the things happening in our life.
To begin, just a few weeks into April Tony and I discovered we were pregnant with our second baby. We were obviously thrilled, and thinking about the upcoming joy of another baby filled most of my thoughts, but it was just too early to share that kind of news in such a public forum so I didn`t blog. Then May came and around the 10 week mark we discovered we had lost the baby. The same joy and excitement we felt in April came crashing down on us in May. I had been waiting for that appointment to share the news of the baby with the blog world, and instead was presented with such a sad situation. Obviouslly following the miscarriage, I went round and round about whether or not I wanted to talk about it on the blog and originally decided not to.
Today I went back to the doctor for the first time since the miscarriage and we talked about a lot of things. We talked about what we can do in the future, testing we might want to do now, and I realized I can`t have a blog, and then not talk about the things happening in my life. Sometimes it will be light and fluffy, but sometimes it will be serious and personal. I realized today at the doctor that the next several months will be filled with a multitude of emotions as we move on from the loss of a baby. Worry that we won`t have another, fear that we will sufffer through mulitple miscarriages, along with a heightened awareness of how lucky we are to have a beautiful-happy-healthy little boy. I intended this blog to serve as almost a diary to myself and my family about this time in my life and I can`t skim over the tough parts and only share the happy times (or at least that is not what I am choosing to do).
I will come back again with pictures of the happy times from the last few months like memorial day weekend with family, my mom`s birthday and our trip to Derby this year courtesy of my friend Stephanie. But for tonight I just wanted to explain my absense. Be back soon!