I'm neurotic -- end of sentence.

In my opinion you cannot work at a children's hospital, and not end up a worried, neurotic mess of a parent.  Unfortunately I see a lot of innocent freak accidents and worst case scenarios.  Then you have a baby of your own, and well, you go a little crazy.  I actually think that on most days I do a GREAT job of concealing most of my neurotic thoughts.  Today was not one of those days.

Today Tony and I took Charlie for his 1 year appointment.  The appointment itself went great (despite the fact that little man has a double ear infection), so that clearly wasn't what sent me into a neurotic episode.
Does he look like he has a double ear infection?

Here was the scenario.  The nurse had Charlie lay on the exam table while she measured him, took his temperature,etc.and then she left the room.  Tony moved over and sat down beside Charlie on the table.  I was sitting on the opposite side of the room.  For whatever reason Charlie is content to lay on the table starring at the ceiling, and this simple action sent me into my neurotic episode.  In my head all I could see happening was him rolling off the table onto the hard doctor's office floor.  My husband is sitting DIRECTLY beside him for heaven's sake, and my anxiety level continued to rise.  At one point Charlie blinked like he was going to roll over and I bolted out of my seat.  Tony looked at me like the crazy person I was and said "I'm sitting right next to him - relax." 
So, it's official, I'm a crazy person.  I've told Tony on more than one occasion that he is just going to have to accept this part of me.  My workplace had ingrained a certain level of fear about normal day to day activities that will prevent me from ever being a "normal" parent.  It seems as though every other day I come home from work with a new item to add to the list of things Charlie can never do.

Here is the current list:
1) Eat a grape
2) Ride a bike
3) Ride a bike on the street
4) Walk on the street
5) Play a sport
6) Swim
7) Eat peanuts
9) Ride in a car without a seat belt.  Actually I am quite sure that Charlie will be the only middle schooler still riding around in a 5 point harness booster seat (facing backwards) if I have anything to say about it.

My poor son, not to mention my poor husband!! Obviously I know he will do just about everything on this list, which means I will spend every second praying and hoping for the best case scenario to play out, instead of the worst. Oh the gray hairs -- I can feel them coming already!